Green Flags To Look For When Dating
You might’ve just started seeing a person or you’ve been hanging out with them for a while and thinking about the possibility of something serious developing. But let’s be real, you’ve had a series of bad flings for the past few years and aren’t sure what healthy actually looks like. That’s okay! We’ve got a quick list of things to look for in your next partner to make sure you’re headed in the right direction.
In touch with their feelings
Not only are they aware of their feelings but they are cognizant of how their actions change based on said emotions. They should be also using this awareness to make themselves better, for their own emotional well-being and others. It’s not enough to know “this triggered me and now I’m angry,” they also need to be actively working on how to improve negative situations. Therapy is helpful in this regard, giving people the tools they need to identify their emotions and how to cope with them in healthy ways.
Conversation is fluid
There’s nothing worse than sitting with someone you half know, searching and trying to keep the conversation going, only to end up in a cycle of one word responses. You want to be able to talk about anything and everything with your partner. Some of our best dates have been at a coffee shop talking about everything from trying the newest Starbucks trend to theories about the universe. Something to consider while going out: Can you be yourself around this person or do you feel you have to be quiet about some topics? If you find yourself choking on your thoughts because of any reason, think about why that is and reassess the situation.
Genuinely listening
Similar to the conversation being fluid, it’s equally important the person you’re seeing actually listens to you. It’s great if they can keep a conversation going, but are they truly paying attention? Active listening is key to relationships going the distance as it allows the speaker to have the space to be vulnerable and feel heard. This helps couples bond and grow closer.
They aren’t scared of the future
They are open to making plans moderately in the future. You don’t have to hear wedding bells in the near future, but the idea of planning a concert or a trip doesn’t make them lose the ability to speak. Thinking about the future with someone can be really exciting and is important if you are seeking something long-term.
Equally invested
Do they put as much effort and emphasis into your time together as you do? Are they texting you back in a timely manner, are they making date plans, etc. No one wants to be the only part of a relationship putting in the time and effort. Attendance is mandatory. Sure, some days they might be busy, but if you find that they are too busy for you more often than not, it’s time to reconsider the future of the relationship.
You feel happy around them
One of the most skipped details I hear when talking to friends is whether or not they enjoy being around a person they’re seeing. People can get wrapped up making sure their date meets a list of criteria, but forget to savor the moment. Even mundane things like a trip to the grocery store can be fun when it’s with the right person.
In a world of growing red flags, it’s easy to look for the negative in someone. Instead of looking for the flaws, take a moment and look for these green flags instead. Relish in the positive vibes that flow as you consider the great times you’ve shared and attractive attributes of the person you’re seeing.